15 Must-Read Books Before Marriage: Expert Recommendations

Are you getting married soon? Congratulations! As you prepare for your big day, have you considered the importance of reading books together before tying the knot? Reading books can provide invaluable insights into relationships and marriage, helping couples understand each other better and build a stronger bond.

Books offer different perspectives on various aspects of life, including love and relationships. By reading books together, couples can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners. Sharing thoughts and opinions about what they read can also be a bonding experience that brings them closer together.

Being avid readers can also lead to a more fulfilling and intellectually stimulating relationship. It’s not just about reading books on relationships or marriage; any book can spark interesting conversations that deepen your connection with your partner.

So, what are some good books to read before marriage? The options are endless! From classic literature to modern self-help guides, there is no shortage of great reads for couples looking to enrich their relationship.

In this post, we’ll explore some of the best books to read before getting married, including bible books to read before marriage and recommendations from Reddit users. Let’s dive in!

“How We Love, Expanded Edition: A Must-Read Before Marriage”

Premarital Counseling Book for Engaged Couples

Getting married is one of the most significant milestones in a person’s life. It is a time when two people come together to share their lives and build a future together. However, before taking this step, it is essential to have open communication and understanding of each other’s needs, expectations, and love languages.

One of the best ways to achieve this is by reading premarital counseling books like “How We Love, Expanded Edition.” This book has been recommended by many relationship experts as a must-read for engaged couples. It provides practical advice on how to navigate the complexities of relationships and build lasting love.

Exploring the Concept of Love Languages

The concept of love languages has become increasingly popular over the years. In simple terms, love languages refer to how individuals express and receive love. The five primary love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

In “How We Love,” authors Milan and Kay Yerkovich explore how understanding your partner’s love language can help you build deeper connections in your relationship. They provide practical exercises that help couples identify their primary love language and understand how they can use it to communicate better with their partner.

The book also delves into attachment styles and how they impact relationships. Attachment styles refer to patterns of behavior that individuals develop based on their early experiences with caregivers. Understanding your attachment style can help you identify potential triggers in your relationship and work towards building healthy communication patterns.

Recommended by Dear Sugar

“Dear Sugar” is an advice column written by Cheryl Strayed that gained popularity for its honest and compassionate responses to readers’ questions about relationships, life struggles, and personal growth. In one of her columns titled “The Wedding Toast I’ll Never Give,” Strayed recommends “How We Love” as a must-buy for couples.

Strayed writes, “It’s the single best book on relationships I’ve ever read.” She praises the authors for their compassionate and practical approach to helping couples build a lasting love. Strayed also notes that the book is not just for engaged couples but can be valuable for anyone looking to improve their relationships.

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: Understanding and Overcoming Toxic Relationships

Therapist-Recommended Book for Identifying and Overcoming Toxic Relationships

Marriage is a lifetime commitment that requires love, patience, understanding, and effort. However, not all marriages are healthy and happy. Some marriages can be emotionally destructive, where one partner dominates the other with their behavior or words. If you’re in an emotionally destructive marriage or know someone who is, “The Emotionally Destructive Marriage” by Leslie Vernick is a must-read book.

Leslie Vernick is a licensed clinical social worker and relationship coach who has helped many couples overcome toxic relationships. In her book, she shares her expertise in identifying the signs of emotional abuse and provides practical advice on how to overcome it.

“The Emotionally Destructive Marriage” is recommended by therapists as one of the best books to read before marriage because it helps individuals understand what constitutes emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be subtle, making it hard for victims to identify. The book offers insights into various forms of emotional abuse such as verbal attacks, manipulation, control tactics, and neglecting the needs & feelings of others.

Provides Practical Help for Individuals in Emotionally Destructive Marriages

Emotional abuse can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s mental health and well-being. It’s essential to seek help when you’re in an emotionally destructive marriage. This book provides practical help for individuals in emotionally destructive relationships by offering strategies for dealing with emotional abusers.

One key takeaway from this book is that self-compassion and self-care are essential components of healing from emotional abuse. The author encourages readers to take care of themselves physically, mentally & spiritually through exercises like meditation & mindfulness practices which will help them build resilience against future trauma.

Another great thing about this book is that it offers specific examples of ways readers can set boundaries with their abusive partners while still being compassionate. The author encourages readers to stand up for themselves and their needs while also acknowledging the feelings of their partners.

Encourages Self-Compassion and Self-Care as Essential Components of Healing

Healing from emotional abuse is a long journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and self-care. This book encourages individuals to take care of themselves by engaging in activities that promote healing.

The author provides practical advice on how to build a support system through therapy or reaching out to friends & family members who can provide emotional support. She also shares tips on how to develop healthy coping mechanisms such as journaling, exercise, or other hobbies that can help individuals deal with stressors in their lives.

“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman: A Proven Plan for a Stronger Relationship

What is “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”?

“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman is a comprehensive guide that provides insights, tools, and exercises to strengthen relationships. This book condenses over 40 years of research and service into seven practical steps that couples can take to build a successful and long-lasting marriage.

Why is it important to read this book before getting married?

Marriage is an exciting milestone in life, but it also comes with its own set of challenges. Reading “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” before getting married can help couples prepare for the realities of married life. This book covers important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy – all of which are essential for building a strong foundation in any relationship.

In fact, many premarital counselors recommend this book as part of their counseling sessions. By reading this book together, couples can gain valuable insights into each other’s needs and expectations, as well as learn practical tools to navigate potential conflicts and challenges that may arise during their marriage.

What are the seven principles covered in the book?

Enhance your love maps: This principle encourages couples to get to know each other on a deeper level by sharing their innermost thoughts, feelings, and dreams with each other.

• Nurture fondness and admiration: This principle emphasizes the importance of expressing appreciation towards your partner regularly. It helps create a positive environment where both partners feel valued and loved.
• Turn towards each other instead of away: In this principle, Gottman stresses the importance of being present for your partner when they need you most. By turning towards your partner instead of away from them during difficult times, you can build trust and strengthen your bond.
• Let your partner influence you: This principle encourages couples to be open to their partner’s opinions and ideas. It helps create a collaborative environment where both partners feel heard and respected.
• Solve your solvable problems: This principle provides practical tools for resolving conflicts that arise in any relationship. By learning how to communicate effectively and work together as a team, couples can overcome challenges and strengthen their bond.
• Overcome gridlock: This principle addresses more complex issues that may arise in a marriage, such as differing values or beliefs. It provides strategies for working through these challenges and finding common ground.
• Create shared meaning: In this final principle, Gottman emphasizes the importance of creating shared goals and values as a couple. By working towards a common purpose, couples can feel more connected and fulfilled in their marriage.

Practical Advice for Building a Fulfilling Relationship in “Building a Marriage That Really Works” by Terrence Real

Quality Time: A Key Component in a Successful Marriage

One of the most important aspects of building a successful marriage is spending quality time together. In “Building a Marriage That Really Works,” Terrence Real emphasizes the importance of carving out time to connect with your partner and prioritize your relationship.

This means setting aside distractions like technology and work and focusing on each other. Quality time can take many forms, from going on date nights to simply sit down together to talk about your day. The key is to make sure that you’re both fully present and engaged with each other.

Real notes that quality time is particularly important when dealing with conflict or difficult emotions. Taking the time to really listen to your partner and understand their perspective can help prevent misunderstandings and build trust in your relationship. By prioritizing quality time, you’ll be able to strengthen your connection with your partner and build a foundation for lasting love.

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence to Improve Intimacy and Connection

Another key aspect of building a fulfilling marriage is developing what Real calls “erotic intelligence.” This refers not just to sexual attraction, but also to the emotional connection that underlies physical intimacy.

According to Real, developing erotic intelligence involves understanding our own desires as well as our partners, communicating openly about our needs and preferences, and being willing to experiment and try new things.

Real notes that many couples struggle with intimacy because they feel ashamed or embarrassed about their desires or have difficulty communicating about sex. By working on developing erotic intelligence together, couples can improve their communication skills, deepen their emotional connection, and ultimately enhance their physical intimacy.

Endorsed by Marcus Buckingham and Desmond Tutu

“Building a Marriage That Really Works” has been endorsed by two respected thinkers in the fields of psychology and spirituality: Marcus Buckingham (author of “First, Break All the Rules” and “Now, Discover Your Strengths”) and Desmond Tutu (archbishop emeritus of Cape Town and Nobel Peace Prize winner).

Buckingham has praised Real’s work for its practicality and accessibility, while Tutu notes that it offers valuable insights into building strong relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

By reading “Building a Marriage That Really Works,” couples can gain practical advice for building a fulfilling relationship, prioritizing quality time together, developing erotic intelligence to improve intimacy and connection, and benefiting from the wisdom of respected thinkers like Marcus Buckingham and Desmond Tutu.

The New Rules of Marriage: Rewriting the Rules for a Successful Partnership

Rewrite Traditional Relationship Rules

Marriage is a beautiful bond that two people share, but it’s not always easy. “The New Rules of Marriage” by Terrence Real offers advice for couples to rewrite traditional relationship rules and create a successful partnership. In his book, Real challenges the idea that men are naturally more aggressive and women are naturally more nurturing. He believes that both partners need to be able to express their emotions freely, without fear of judgment or criticism.

Real also encourages couples to communicate openly and honestly with each other. This means sharing your feelings, thoughts, and desires with your spouse in a way that is respectful and non-judgmental. By doing so, you can build trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Improve Married Life with Esther Perel’s Insights on Sex and Conversations

Esther Perel is a renowned psychotherapist who specializes in relationships and sexuality. In her book “Mating in Captivity,” she explores the complex dynamics of sex within long-term relationships. She argues that couples often struggle with maintaining desire because they feel too comfortable with each other.

Perel suggests that couples should prioritize creating space for eroticism in their lives by exploring new sexual experiences together. She also emphasizes the importance of having conversations about sex outside of the bedroom.

By discussing what you like and don’t like sexually, you can increase intimacy and improve your sexual relationship. Perel encourages couples to have conversations about difficult topics such as infidelity or past traumas.

Smart Couples Finish Rich by Sharing Their Lives and Finances With Their Partner

“Smart Couples Finish Rich” by David Bach is an excellent resource for anyone looking to improve their financial situation within their marriage. Bach emphasizes the importance of working together as a team.

In his book, he provides practical advice on how couples can save money, reduce debt, and invest wisely. He also encourages couples to have conversations about their financial goals and priorities.

By sharing your lives and finances with your partner, you can build a stronger relationship based on mutual respect and trust. You’ll be able to work together towards common goals and create a more secure financial future for yourselves.

Fictional Perspectives on Love and Marriage: Desperate Characters by Paula Fox, The French War Bride by Robin Wells, Light Years by James Salter

Marriage is an institution that has been around for centuries. It is a union between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. However, it is not always easy, and many couples face challenges along the way.

Reading books about love and marriage can provide valuable insights into these challenges and help couples navigate them. In this listicle, we will explore three fictional perspectives on love and marriage: Desperate Characters by Paula Fox, The French War Bride by Robin Wells, and Light Years by James Salter.

Desperate Characters by Paula Fox

Desperate Character is a novel that explores the complexities of a marriage in crisis. The story follows Sophie Bentwood and her husband Otto as they navigate their way through a rough patch in their relationship. Sophie is struggling with feelings of dissatisfaction with her life, while Otto is dealing with his own issues. As they try to work through their problems together, they are forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about themselves and each other.

One of the things that makes Desperate Characters such a compelling read is its honesty. Paula Fox does not shy away from portraying the difficulties that come with being in a long-term relationship. She shows how even the most loving couples can struggle when faced with adversity. By reading this book, couples can gain insights into how to communicate effectively during difficult times.

The French War Bride by Robin Wells

The French War Bride is a heartwarming novel about love and sacrifice. It tells the story of Ruby Henderson Benoit, an American woman who falls in love with Marcel Benoit while he is serving as a soldier during World War II. After the war ends, Ruby travels to France to marry Marcel and start a new life with him.

One of the things that makes The French War Bride such a great book for couples to read is its emphasis on the importance of sacrifice in a relationship. Ruby and Marcel face many challenges as they try to build a life together, but they are willing to make sacrifices for each other along the way. This book can teach couples about the importance of compromise and putting their partner’s needs before their own.

Light Years by James Salter

Light Years is a beautifully written exploration of the joys and challenges of long-term relationships. The novel follows Nedra and Viri as they navigate their way through 20 years of marriage. They experience many ups and downs along the way, including infidelity, illness, and financial struggles.

One of the things that make Light Years such a great book for couples to read is its portrayal of the passage of time. James Salter does an excellent job of showing how relationships change over time and how couples must adapt to these changes if they want their love to endure. By reading this book, couples can gain insights into how to keep their relationship strong even as they grow older together.

Why Reading Books Before Marriage is Essential for a Happy Relationship

Reading books before marriage is crucial to building a strong and healthy relationship with your partner. The books listed below offer valuable insights into relationships and provide practical advice on how to navigate the ups and downs of married life.

How We Love, Expanded Edition: A Must-Read Before Marriage

How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich is an essential read for anyone considering marriage. This book explores attachment theory and helps couples understand their own attachment styles. By understanding your attachment style, you can learn how to communicate more effectively with your partner and build a stronger, more secure relationship.

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: Understanding and Overcoming Toxic Relationships

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick is a powerful book that helps couples identify toxic patterns in their relationships. This book provides practical advice on how to break free from destructive cycles and build a healthier, happier partnership.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Proven Plan for a Stronger Relationship

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman is a classic guide to building a successful marriage. This book offers practical tips on how to improve communication, increase intimacy, and strengthen your connection with your partner.

Building a Marriage That Really Works by Terrence Real: A Practical Guide to a Fulfilling Relationship

Building a Marriage That Really Works by Terrence Real is an excellent resource for couples looking to build a fulfilling relationship. This book provides practical advice on everything from managing conflict to improving intimacy.

The New Rules of Marriage: Rewriting the Rules for a Successful Partnership

The New Rules of Marriage by Terry Real challenges traditional notions of marriage and offers new insights into what it takes to build a successful partnership in the modern world. This book encourages couples to rethink their assumptions about love, commitment, and communication.

Fictional Perspectives on Love and Marriage: Desperate Characters by Paula Fox, The French War Bride by Robin Wells, Light Years by James Salter

Fictional perspectives on love and marriage can also provide valuable insights into relationships. Desperate Characters by Paula Fox, The French War Bride by Robin Wells, and Light Years by James Salter are just a few examples of books that explore the complexities of married life.

In conclusion, reading books before marriage is essential for building a strong and healthy relationship with your partner. By learning about attachment theory, toxic patterns, effective communication strategies, and more, you can set yourself up for a successful partnership. So why not start reading today?

FAQs

Q: Can reading books really improve my relationship?

A: Yes! Reading books can provide valuable insights into relationships and offer practical advice on how to navigate the ups and downs of married life.

Q: What if my partner isn’t interested in reading these books with me?

A: While it’s always best to read these books together as a couple, even reading them alone can help you gain new insights into your relationship.

Q: Are these books only for people who are about to get married?

A: No! These books are useful for anyone in a committed relationship who wants to build a stronger connection with their partner.

Q: What if I don’t have time to read all of these books?

A: That’s okay! Start with one or two that resonate with you and go from there.

Q: Can these books really make a difference in my relationship?

A: Yes! By providing practical advice on everything from managing conflict to improving intimacy, these books can help couples build stronger connections and enjoy happier partnerships.

Q: Where can I find these books?

A: You can find most of these titles at your local bookstore or online retailer.